In a world that constantly demands us to fit into predefined boxes, the journey of self-discovery can be a daunting and confusing process. Whether you’re a teenager grappling with questions about who you are, a young adult trying to find your place in the world, or even someone later in life facing a shift in your identity, the struggle is real. You may feel like you’re standing at a crossroads, unsure of which path to take or who you truly are. This blog is for you—for anyone who feels lost, stuck, or uncertain about their identity.
Identity is often associated with labels—race, gender, nationality, profession, or even the roles we play in our personal lives. However, these labels, while important, don’t fully encapsulate who we are. Your identity is a complex tapestry woven from your experiences, values, beliefs, passions, and dreams. It’s about understanding, not just where you come from, but also where you’re going and what you stand for.
In a recent episode of the ‘What’s On Your Shelf?’ podcast, Mike Mulure sat down with Maureen Burgstahler, an Agile Coach, Scrum Master and Business Trainer based in Germany, to discuss the themes of identity and growth. Maureen shared her experiences guiding leaders and teams on their agility journey, fostering not just professional efficiency but also personal growth.
An identity crisis typically arises when there is a disconnect between who you think you should be and who you actually are. This disconnect can cause feelings of anxiety, confusion, and even despair. It can be triggered by major life changes, cultural expectations, or simply the pressure to conform to societal norms. But remember, the crisis is not a failure; it’s an invitation to grow and redefine yourself.
The Journey of Self-Discovery
Self-discovery is not a destination; it’s a lifelong journey. It involves peeling back the layers of external expectations to reveal your true self. Here are some steps that worked for me that might also guide you on this journey:
- Reflect on Your Past: Understanding your past is crucial in the journey of self-discovery. Reflect on your childhood, the environment you grew up in, and the influences that shaped you. What values were instilled in you? What experiences left a lasting impact? Recognizing how your past has influenced your present can provide valuable insights into your identity.
- Embrace Change: Identity is not static; it evolves over time. As you grow and experience new things, your sense of self may change. Embrace this change rather than resist it. Understand that it’s okay to let go of old identities that no longer serve you and embrace new aspects of yourself that align with your current beliefs and goals.
- Tune Out the Noise: In today’s world, we are constantly bombarded with information, opinions, and societal expectations. It’s easy to lose sight of who we are amidst the noise. Take time to disconnect from external influences and focus on your inner voice. Meditation, journaling, or simply spending time in nature can help you reconnect with yourself.
- Identify Your Values: Your values are the core principles that guide your decisions and actions. The things you do when nobody is watching that build up your character. They are a fundamental part of your identity. Take time to identify what truly matters to you. What do you believe in? What are you passionate about? Living in alignment with your values is key to finding fulfillment and a strong sense of self.
- Explore New Interests: Sometimes, we feel lost because we haven’t fully explored our interests or passions. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. Whether it’s picking up a new hobby, traveling, or learning something new, exploring different interests can help you discover hidden aspects of your identity.
- Surround Yourself with Supportive People: The people you surround yourself with can have a significant impact on your journey of self-discovery. Seek out those who support and encourage you to be your authentic self. Avoid those who pressure you to conform to their expectations or make you feel inadequate.
Overcoming Identity Crisis: Embracing Your True Self
There is a season of life that one might feel lost, not being able to truly understand who they are, what interests them or even who they would like to be. This identity crisis can be unsettling, but it’s also an opportunity to grow and redefine you.
- Be Patient with Yourself: Self-discovery takes time. Be patient with yourself as you explore who you are. There is no rush, and it’s okay to not have all the answers right away.
- Practice Self-Compassion: It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you’re struggling with your identity. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your feelings and treating yourself with kindness. Remember that it’s okay to feel lost sometimes.
- Seek Professional Help if Needed: If you’re feeling overwhelmed by questions of your true identity, don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and support as you navigate through your journey of self-discovery.
- Accept Uncertainty: Life is full of uncertainties, and it’s impossible to have everything figured out. Embrace the uncertainty and see it as a part of your growth process. Trust that as you continue on your journey, things will become clearer.
The journey of self-discovery is not always easy, but it’s one of the most rewarding paths you can take. It’s about shedding the layers of who you think you should be and embracing who you truly are. It’s about finding your unique voice and living authentically.
In the conversation mentioned earlier with Maureen Burgstahler, a life and purpose coach who emphasized on the importance of embracing change and remaining open to new experiences, which are key elements in discovering and evolving your identity. Maureen’s insights remind us that identity is not a fixed destination but an ongoing journey of self-exploration and growth.
Remember, your identity is not a fixed destination but a journey that unfolds over time. Embrace the process, be kind to yourself, and trust that you will find your way. In the end, the most important thing is not fitting into society’s mold but finding peace and fulfillment in being your true self.
You can watch the full interview with Maureen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10uWMJPYpYk
